MY MOTHER AND ALL
This picture clearly depicts the highlight of my year.
This new year, inspirations is given to those who are busy.
My mother and all will be what I will write in this post.It is worth writing to reflect on the special figure in my life my mother-Mommy.There are four types of mothers I will reflect on in this piece.Biological mother, legal mother , Spiritual mother and mother in-law.
The aforementioned have roles to play
Family and Motherhood took the center stage and I don’t for one day regret it.
More than a mother:
Mothers play a vital role in our lives. They are our nurturers, caregivers, and supporters. They provide love, guidance, and support throughout our journey. From the moment we are born, they dedicate themselves to our well-being, ensuring our needs are met and our dreams are encouraged. Mothers offer comfort during difficult times and celebrate our successes. They are incredible multitaskers, balancing their own responsibilities with taking care of their children. Motherhood is a challenging and rewarding experience, and we are fortunate to have them in our lives.
My mother was at my house a few days ago and she saw me cooking 3 different soups at the same time and she said, but beauty you been no dey cook like this when you dey my house o😂 and sincerely that’s the truth.
I was raised a typical mummy’s girl, my mom would do almost everything for us, just to ensure life was made easy.
Breakfast in bed wasn’t strange to me, that was my mum’s routine, even in our one room family house, she would serve me breakfast in bed, we weren’t rich, infact we were very very poor but she treated us like actual princesses and ajebutter, she gave us physical representation of how we should be treated by both men and women wherever we go, and she reminded us never to slave for anyone in the name of loyalty or marriage, never to settle for less.
Mummy washed my clothes even till the day of my wedding, she was of the opinion that if I was working to ensure I covered the finances of the home, then it’s not out of place that she makes other areas of my life easier.
Fast forward to when I met this Ikwerre man, he was a typical home boy. Our first physical meeting at his house, he offered me Afang soup and Eba 😂, I almost ran mad, cause who does that to a new babe you are trying to impress?
I had to tell him straight up, I wasn’t a kitchen lover at all, even though I could cook a few things, he said that wasn’t a problem, that he would make me enjoy cooking.
Over the next three years of our relationship, he took his time to teach me how to make as many meals as he could and truly he’s an amazing cook.
After our wedding, the first thing we got was a washing machine, we knew it would make our lives easier knowing how busy we both were and how much time we need to spend together after work in order to ensure balance, and then a live out housekeeper to handle the cleaning as we both knew it wasn’t very possible to clean the entire house by ourselves , as soon as I gave birth, we got a second housekeeper and a live in this time for extra help, it’s really hard to get to work 6 days a week, cook everyday and still be available to groom our marriage.
I’ve been married for over 18 months but I can count how many times we’ve cleaned the house by ourselves, and those 3-4 times, we did it because we wanted to pass time and probably during holidays, never on active working days.
Part of our resolve before our wedding was to create a meal timetable and a cooking schedule.
We make our heavy meals like soups and stew once a month, we cook as much as 5-6 soup options, sauces and sometimes 2 flavors of stew just to ensure variety and then grocery shopping once a month
During our cooking days, usually weekends, it’s one of our bonding opportunity, we can be in the sitting room, seeing a movie and then watching the food on fire same time, or just sitting in the kitchen gisting and catching up on activities and my husband makes out time to be with me most times in the kitchen assisting and some months, he takes it up and makes the meals, especially when he’s aware how exhausted I may be.
Most of the unique meals we make at home outside our timetables are made by him, who says men shouldn’t be a part of the kitchen chores if they can? Even if you are the busiest husband in the world and can’t cook, learn how to make noodles and let everyone at home look forward to daddy’s signature noodles even if it’s once a quarter.
Ps: I’ve not been to the market since after our wedding, but every single month we get market runs done and we get the best deals by using grocery shopping options instead of going to the market and getting exhausted, this can be cheaper and deliveries are neater.
Sometimes the way I enjoy cooking, it surprises me, most days I have to be dragged to leave the kitchen, cooking at home has become a thing of leisure for me when I’m not working, simple because it’s an exciting thing to do and not forced, it’s more like a get away from work and family bonding moment.
I remember cooking once and complaining how hot the kitchen was, he said no problem, he would find a solution, when we moved houses, this man ensured we installed an AC and heat extractor in our new kitchen and also for kitchen high chairs for me and himself, so we could have better comfortable kitchen time, talk about intentionality.
My husband understands that I am a full time working wife and mother, we both want to enjoy our marriage and be happy, so everything that eases stress, that we can afford, we ensure to get it and pay for it, the one we can’t pay for, we support each other to get it done and trust God for wisdom.
These days, people want to marry a woman who is domesticated; defined for them as being able to slave, do all the house chores with no help , sweep, clean, run errands, handle kids, go to the market, cook alone, wash clothes by hand, and the many other chores, yet they still want her 100% involved in business support, financial support and also emotionally available for them, when she’s not a witch?
I gave birth and spent 7 days in the hospital and my husband was with me in the delivery room and spent the entire 7 days with me there, irrespective of my mother and mother Inlaw being there, he ensured to be there every step of the way and didn’t leave my sight except it was necessary and he came back as soon as possible, yet this man is the busiest human I know and manages all per time.
Our baby is 10 months old and despite all the multiple trips needed to make, she’s still extremely close to her daddy, because once he’s home, everything else becomes a sideline and family takes center stage, while we manage the business together.
He would hold our baby girl and take charge of her care when I need to work or do other things and we would take turns, except for days like in the picture where she wouldn’t let anyone else touch her except me. This year I also traveled twice without my baby and left her at home with her dad, I came back and everything was fine, no drama, no stress. Child care is not just the job of a woman but a collective shared responsibility.
A lot of people ask me, how are you both able to manage the working together effectively as business partners and manageing the home front, sincerely it’s not a bed of roses, somedays are hard, there are days when he’s on the phone for almost half the day and you’ll feel pity for him, while me on the other end, I am engaging clients and staff and resolving operations needs, we finish and get back on with our lives. I’ll share more on this as we move forward. It is very possible to run multiple businesses as a couple and everyone understands their responsibilities clearly and work to the overall growth of the company.
One person may have to slow down a bit for this to work, the other party must ensure to make it worthwhile and not let the person regret, especially when you are both high flyers.
I usually am not one person to bring words of advice to the world or talk about marriage advices here, this dropped in my heart and I thought to share a little bit of our story.
Most times, we want a relationship to thrive, but only one person is overloaded, for any relationship to thrive, especially in the early years of marriage, all parties have to put in the work and ensure that there’s a safe space for each person to grow.
You want to be treated as a King, it’s important to also treat the other party as a Queen and watch everything else bloom, vice versa, except they are deeper underlying issues.
Maintaining a healthy relationship with your mother is important.This is a way of showing you appreciate her daily sacrifices f Of course! Maintaining a healthy relationship with your mother is important.This is a way of showing you appreciate her daily sacrifices for you.
Here are some tips that may help:
1. Communication: Open and honest communication is key. Talk to your mother about your feelings, concerns, and experiences. Listen to her as well, and try to understand her perspective.
2. Show appreciation: Express gratitude and appreciation for the things your mother does for you. Small gestures like saying "thank you" or doing something special for her can go a long way in strengthening your bond.
3. Spend quality time together: Make an effort to spend time together doing activities that both of you enjoy. It could be anything from going for a walk, cooking together, or having a movie night. Quality time helps build connection.
4. Respect boundaries: Understand and respect each other's boundaries. Everyone has their own personal space and limits. Respecting these boundaries will help create a healthy and comfortable environment.
5. Empathy and understanding: Try to put yourself in your mother's shoes and understand her perspective. This can help foster empathy and compassion, leading to better understanding and a closer relationship.
6. Resolve conflicts peacefully: Conflicts are normal in any relationship. When disagreements arise, try to address them calmly and respectfully. Seek compromise and find common ground to resolve conflicts peacefully.
Remember, every relationship is unique, and it may take time and effort to build a healthy relationship with your mother. Be patient and understanding, and remember that love and respect are the foundation of any healthy relationship. or you.
Here are some tips that may help:
Ps: This is not a marriage or relationship advice as life is not a straight line equation and only God gives https://www.toprevenuegate.com/g1jqbc11wj?key=3d7276771f89b66e0178c0ffaf193533wisdom to navigate this marriage journey.
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